Emotional changes in puberty

How can I deal with heated arguments?

You may find that you and your teen are are arguing more with each other, and this is normal. Your well-intentioned efforts to offer to help them make the right decision may not be what they want to hear. Your child is looking for more independence and is starting to question different points of view — including yours.

Look at the big picture. Keep in mind that you child does not mean to upset you; they might not realise how their words affect you. Remember that this is temporar. Conflict is usually at its worst during teenage years and is a sign your child is maturing.

Become a role model for your child by demonstrating positive ways of dealing with difficult emotions and constructive ways of resolving conflicts.

Listen actively. Make time to listen to your child and show them that you are really listening and trying to understand their perspective — even when you don’t share their opinion.

Be open with your own feelings. Explain how their behaviour affects you. This not only models constructive ways to communicate, but also helps your child learn to read and respond to emotions.

How can I manage violent behaviour?

Sometimes teenagers respond violently or aggressively because they struggle to manage their own emotions. Clearly explain to your child that violence and aggression towards anyone is unacceptable and everyone must feel safe at home.

If you have a child who is aggressive towards you, walk away and explain to them that you can continue the conversation when they have calmed down. This will help them learn to communicate in non-violent and respectful ways.

Give your teenager space and remove the person who is aggravating the situation to give them time to calm down. Set non-violent and appropriate consequences and follow through to teach your child that violence is unacceptable. You can also check in with your child’s school, since there may be issues with friends or teachers.

If your child doesn’t respond to any of these strategies, it may indicate that there is a deeper problem. Consider professional support from your GP or school counsellors, teachers or mental health professionals. They can give you and your teenager effective strategies to deal with violent or aggressive behaviour.

If there is violence and aggression in your family or if you feel unsafe or anyone is at immediate risk of harm, call triple zero (000).

How can I support and stay connected with my teen?

Here are a few more tips to help your teen navigate emotional changes in puberty:

• Help them understand their moods and the effect of puberty on their bodies and emotions.
• Maintain healthy boundaries and expectations while giving your teen opportunities to express independence in a safe and healthy way.
• Give them space to process their feelings and support independent problem-solving.
• Acknowledge positive behaviour and encourage healthy eating and sleeping habits.